Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us-if at all-not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.
A lot of the stuff that they ban- like outdoor sports- is absolutely useless and they must know that, but they do it anyway, so that they're seen to be doing something no matter how ineffectual. "Paralysed force, gesture without motion"... it's political theater.
This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.
Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.
I suppose that I can't blame them entirely, because this seems to be what a certain segment of the population wants. Even if I cared to watch the daily hour of castigation and despair, I wouldn't have to; I can hear it from other peoples' phones and/or computers at work as they tune in to be scared and shamed. Then they all discuss the latest surge in tones of scandalized excitement. It's theatre macabre- some seem to get a perverse enjoyment out of being horrified. Bizarrely, people who would never darken the doors of a church (not that they could now, anyway) tune in to these press conferences religiously, treating the words of Dr. Strang as if they were those of some sort of prophet: "Here the stone images are raised..."
Yesterday was my nephew's birthday; he turned eight. I haven't seen him in almost a year because he lives in another province. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I can't visit my mum, for the second one in a row. Another nephew has his birthday this coming week, and I won't be able to see him though he lives only a half hour drive from me. Even if I was willing to risk the huge fines myself, I'd be saddling my sister and her family with the risk of also being fined, something I of course wouldn't do. Because there are a number people, more than I would have originally thought, who are just itching to inform on anyone who they suspect might be violating the rules. Just yesterday my sister-in-law saw the police pull up to their neighbours' place. Two guys live there, and between them they own four cars. Someone saw the four cars in their driveway, assumed they were having people over, and called the cops on them. Who does this? Obviously a worrying amount of the general population. It's beyond depressing.
I'm tired and angry, and I feel hollowed out. And I can't even go on social media without being inundated with posts about how selfish people are for protesting lockdown, and how if you don't obey, you want to kill grandma, and we're all in this together... you know the ones. I know these people generally mean well, but most of them can work from home, where they live with their immediate family. Lockdowns are an only inconvenience for them. Some of them even seem to be positively relishing having their rights and freedoms taken away, and glorying in seeing others punished for sinning against the COVID regulations. I'm not saying that precautions shouldn't be taken, but people living in this constant state of fear, unconcerned with the loss of personal liberty and agency, almost ferally turning on those who don't fully comply... I'll never understand this, or agree with it.
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.