A---: "Isaac did my hair on the bus."
His Mum (my sister): "I like it!"
A.: "Yeah! He said all the girls would want to kiss me!"
Mum: "Kiss you?! Well, how about just your mum?"
A.: "Yeah. I don't need all those girls anyway. I just need one... Adeline... or Sylvie... they're both fighting over me... and they're both beautiful."
Mum: "Well, you're a little young, don't you think?"
A. "Yeah. I can wait. I waited a whole month already... I can't wait until I get married!"
2. November 7th- Same nephew arrives home from school:
A.: "All my girlfriends gave up on me." he laments.
A.: "No! Not good! That means Sylvie gave up on me!"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
A.: "It means we're not getting married when we're older!"
A.: "... and C---- (eldest brother, age 17) has nothing to say about that! He's already married!
Mum: "He is? That's news to me. He must have eloped."
A.: "No! K------ (17 yr old's girlfriend) would never do that! She's so nice! She's even nicer than Sylvie!"
3. November 9th- Nephew is disillusioned by his recent heartbreak:
A.: "She never cared about me."
Mum: "It's O.K., buddy. Friends will come and go, but your true friendship with your family and God will always remain."
A.: "But what about when you and Dad die?"
Mum: "Well, you'll know that we always loved you."
Z. (7 yr old brother): "And probably all the money will go to C----."
A.: "My girlfriend is here, but she hates me now!"
Turns out, Sylvie is sitting three rows ahead of us with her parents. A. continues to squirm until his dad (my brother-in-law) advises him to go say hello to her. As he climbs over my knees to get out to the aisle, I advise him not to sound too needy. Under the eagle eyes of the Family, A. goes up and greets Sylvie, who immediately turns her face away, hiding it in her mother's shoulder. Discontented muttering travels along the row.
A. appears to be talking with Sylvie's father as her mother coaxes her to say hello... she eventually does, and a brief but seemingly amiable conversation takes place. A. returns before the start of the service:
A.: "It's O.K. She was nice to me. We're going to be just friends now."
Friend-zoned. It's just as well... the family's not ready for this level of drama from the younger generation.