Like most of his other works, The Occasional Garden is an impish send up of the pretentiousness of Edwardian society. In it, the main character Elinor Rapsley is bemoaning the fact that her garden is not a beautiful showpiece which would be the envy of the neighbourhood. She tells her friend- the Baroness- that it's impossible to keep her garden beautiful, because all the local cats have decided to use it for a meeting ground, ruining much of it. And, she says resentfully, the beasts don't even make themselves useful by ridding her of the flocks of sparrows which are currently decimating the parts of the garden left unspoiled by the recalcitrant cats. This wouldn't be any more than an embarrassing annoyance, except for the fact that the hated overachiever Gwenda Pottingdon has invited herself to tea the following week. Gwenda Pottingdon has the fanciest, most exotic garden in town and is always going on about it. Elinor knows that when Pottingdon sees the pitiful remains of her garden, the woman will be full of smug superiority and false sympathy.
The Baroness says that she has the perfect solution for her: the O.O.S.A. (Occasional Oasis Supply Association) She herself has an annual subscription to the service. Rather than go to the bother and expense of employing a gardener to maintain her yard, whenever the Baroness has a luncheon or dinner party planned, she calls on the O.O.S.A. and they show up, roll out lush turf, and bring pots of flowers and trees with which to transform her barren garden into a veritable Eden. You can even order occasion-specific decor: when she was entertaining a bishop, the O.O.S.A. outfitted her garden with traditional English flora, such as yew hedges and hollyhocks, with an old world style sun dial and even a decorative beehive to complete the look. What Elinor needs to do is contact them and order the emergency E.O.N. package. This is an acronym, she explains, for 'Envy of the Neighbourhood' and is designed for just such an occasion; it costs a little more, but can one really put a price on squashing one's social enemies? Elinor decides to go for it.
Afterwards, Elinor congratulates herself on her successful party, happy in the knowledge that she for once shut up that braggart Pottingdon. This feeling lasts for four days, at which time Gwenda Pottington - to her horror- drops by unannounced and uninvited, to brag to Elinor that her daughter has has a watercolour painting accepted by the Hackney Gallery. But what, she inquires, gazing out the window at the sad remains of Elinor's yard in bewilderment, happened to her beautiful garden? It is at this point that Elinor's emergency gardening is replaced with emergency thinking; she comes up with an explanation (lie) at lightening speed. Sorrowfully she tells Gwenda that a group of militant suffragettes broke into her yard and destroyed the garden in a ten minute rampage. She was, she confides, so distraught that she had all of the remaining debris cleared away and intends to start her garden from scratch, designing an even more elaborate one.