I suppose it's not surprising that I managed to pick up a head cold which has made me not want to do anything the last few evenings, at the worst possible time. This coming weekend is our annual Fam Jam and I had a schedule planned out for getting my baking/cooking done, since we form teams and do all the meals from Friday supper until Monday lunch. My Mum and I are on Sunday lunch and we're making soups and sandwiches. I'm cooking corn chowder and tomato soup, while Mum is doing a vegetable soup and, I think, a stew. Anyway, Monday and Tuesday evenings were a washout because I didn't feel like doing anything when I got home from work. Last night I did manage to regroup and get started... we're serving cookies and squares for dessert, so I got some peanut butter cookies made, and the dough for chocolate chip cookies. I also started packing foodstuff that doesn't need to be refrigerated so it'll be ready to go. I would have got more baked, but had to do the laundry which hadn't been done either.
Well, last Sunday was Mother's Day; on Saturday we took our Mum out for breakfast. Then on Sunday we gathered at the homestead for a Mother's Day lunch. I sewed Mum some new pot holders since hers were looking a little... well-used, shall we say... and also gave her a book of puzzles, because she does enjoy doing them while watching TV, etc. Sunday was a bit of a crazy day because of course we all had church in the morning, then Mother's Day lunch, and then most of us picked up and travelled down to the Valley. My eldest nephew and his wife were both graduating from Acadia University on Sunday afternoon and there was a celebratory BBQ for them in the evening. Needless to say, it was pretty late when I got home that night and I was just falling into bed when I remembered that I needed to go into work early on Monday, having to be there at 8 am. Yay, me. I suppose it's not surprising that I managed to pick up a head cold which has made me not want to do anything the last few evenings, at the worst possible time. This coming weekend is our annual Fam Jam and I had a schedule planned out for getting my baking/cooking done, since we form teams and do all the meals from Friday supper until Monday lunch. My Mum and I are on Sunday lunch and we're making soups and sandwiches. I'm cooking corn chowder and tomato soup, while Mum is doing a vegetable soup and, I think, a stew. Anyway, Monday and Tuesday evenings were a washout because I didn't feel like doing anything when I got home from work. Last night I did manage to regroup and get started... we're serving cookies and squares for dessert, so I got some peanut butter cookies made, and the dough for chocolate chip cookies. I also started packing foodstuff that doesn't need to be refrigerated so it'll be ready to go. I would have got more baked, but had to do the laundry which hadn't been done either. On the topic of colds, here's the song "Adelaide's Lament" from the 1955 movie Guys And Dolls- based of course on the musical of the same name. In it, Adelaide self-diagnoses that her long running cold symptoms are actually caused by the fact that Nathan, her boyfriend of some fourteen years, won't marry her.
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Ironically, About Time almost seems as if it's from a different time period... I mean, it's only from ten years ago, but this film literally would not be made today. For one thing, its protagonist is a straight white man who is neither a buffoon nor a villain. He's also not just a prop to make the women in the movie seem even better by comparison. I'm sure that I don't need to tell you how rare- and refreshing- this is now. I don't know where the current crop of movie makers got the idea that what women want to see in movies are dumb slacker guys with no sense of responsibility or commitment, but here we are. In About Time, Tim is not a punchline: a bit awkward on occasion, sure, but a good, solid guy. His life goal, what he's working for, is to find a woman to love and marry, and raise a family with her. It's notable that the only times he uses his ability to benefit himself, it's to further this aim- at least until his father's death; then he uses it to go back and spend time with him. But it always revolves around family for him. The movie is humorous of course, but it also has poignant moments and gives viewers some interesting points to think about. One of these is, you can't fix everything, even with time travel. The first girl Tim is smitten with is a friend of his sister's who comes to spend the summer at their family home. At the end of two months of admiring her from afar, Tim works up the courage to tell her how he feels. She tells him that she wishes he'd said something sooner, because now she's leaving and doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship. So Tim uses his time travel ability to go back to near the beginning of her visit and tell her of his feelings; she tells him that it's too soon in their acquaintance, maybe ask her again at the end of her visit. Tim realizes at this point that she just doesn't like him and is using timing as a way to let him down gently. Manipulating the timeline can't change the fact that someone just isn't into you. This girl reappears sometime later in the film, when Tim is out with one of his guy friends watching one of Harry's plays; Tim sees her in the audience and after the show's over, approaches her to say hello. He ends up walking her home and, when they reach her door, she propositions him. Tim looks at this woman whose physical appearance and personality had dazzled him- still do, honestly- who is now inviting him to sleep with her; he excuses himself, goes home and proposes to Mary. He doesn't need a do-over to realize his relationship with Mary is worth so much more than temporary gratification with someone who by her own choice doesn't know him, but is willing to sleep with him because he's a successful lawyer now. Being able to go back and change things afterwards is no replacement for choosing the right and moral path the first time around. Of course, life being what it is, wrong decisions are frequently made, and the question becomes what to do about the resulting situations. When Tim's free spirit sister KitKat's life spirals into depression and alcohol abuse because of her poor decisions, he desperately wants to fix it for her and goes back in time to do so, as described in my plot summary. But of course, this causes a terrible unforeseen consequence to Tim's family life and he has to go back again and undo his manipulation of events. Because often the quick fix is not the best one. Leaving aside the temporal problems caused by changing past events, the fact is that what- or rather, who- really needs to change is KitKat. Magically removing her immediate problem doesn't change her character or her moral fiber, meaning that, unchecked, she's just as likely to make the same sort of mistake- or a worse one- again as no lesson has been learned, no hardship endured and overcome. Knowing that there are consequences for our actions and being forced to deal with them is what makes us less likely to take such missteps in the future. KitKat's life becomes better when she takes responsibility for herself and her actions. Tim and Mary help her, investing time and effort, and in the end KitKat is a much stronger person for it, able to recognize the merits of a steady, honest man and traditional family values. Just as trouble and pain are part of life, so is death. This can sometimes be delayed, but never denied. Eventually the people you love- and you- will die. Whether or not you believe that's the ultimate end depends upon if you are a person of faith or not, but either way it is an end, a parting, at least for now. And it's very painful to lose the ones you love. When his father dies, Tim dilutes his sorrow by using his ability to go back to the near past and spend time with his dad. But there comes a point when Tim must make a choice: Mary wants to have another baby, but this means that, according to the rules of time travel, he won't be able to go back in time before the child's conception without risking changing the baby. So returning to visit his father will no longer be an option; he will have to let go for good, irreversibly. Tim hesitates but ultimately chooses his family and his future. Which is as it should be. To remain in a state of arrested development because you fear loss and pain is no way to live your life. Indeed, recognizing that our time on earth with the ones we love is finite and precious makes us more likely to value that time and use it wisely. It is wasteful- and a betrayal of those who have passed on- to squander the present and future while pining for the past. I don't think it's a coincidence that Tim gradually stops living days twice- once to get through the stress and trouble and once to enjoy all the good stuff- after he accepts that his father is gone. What he realizes is that all parts of our existence- the love and good times, the painful and messy ones- are necessary to a complete and fulfilling life. Learning to face up to the hard times is necessary to mature and become stronger as well as make us treasure and be thankful for the love and beauty that we experience along the way. I said at the beginning of this post that I didn't think this movie would get made today, because the values it promotes are consistently the opposite of what modern Hollywood seeks to promote on screen. First of all, as mentioned, it does not portray men as inherently bad/stupid/useless. It in fact portrays fathers as positive role models. It also promotes strong families, getting married, and- gasp- having multiple children. That's right, in About Time, Mary has had two children with her husband Tim and wants more... oh no, it's like The Handmaid's Tale or something... she's been brainwashed by the patriarchy! From what I can see in most present day movies, a woman is only considered strong if she's- somehow- punching out a hulking man who outweighs her by about a hundred pounds before doing a backflip and dropkicking a couple more hapless dudes behind her. She should also be a hardened cynic, vaguely androgenous, and intellectually as well as physically unbeatable- while of course still being a victim of male privilege. Then you watch a film like About Time and think: egad, remember when not all women protagonists were seething with anger and resentment? I'm not saying that About Time is the most brilliant movie I've ever seen, by a long shot. But it is fun, it raises some interesting points to think about, and it's a refreshing change from the shallow yet dour, overwrought yet emotionally immature fare we're regularly served up these days.
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